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To this day I cannot justify why people are angry when they find out they aren't the only person their loved one has sex with. It's stupid and if I were a real man it wouldn't have upset me, but it did.I wanted a divorce. Jasmine wanted half. More than that she wanted to stay Mrs. Renaud. She was aware that splitting what I had would probably bankrupt me in the long run. No matter what she took there was no way I'd be able to run my business without it all. We stayed married. We tried counseling, therapy. Everything. Eventually I started to learn to live with the fact that my wife was a cheating whore.The more I think about it the worse I feel. It was hard enough to rationalize being upset about sex when it was just a thought in my head. Now that I can see and hear them as actual words I know that I'm a monster. And so is every man who ever did anything but smile when he found his woman in bed with another man. Women aren't property that gets stolen, they are people who want to. My wife has not ‘gone all the way’. Oh, she’s dressed the hussy in public places with me. Flirted like a street walker. But by the look of our eyes into each others. By the touch of her hand on my shoulder. I know with all certainty that her teasing, no matter how skillful, has not gone beyond.Oh, I’ve pleaded, begged. But no. She won’t.And I know why. Deep in her heart, she doesn’t WANT me to be a cuckold husband. She’s settled into the reality of it, but would not choose such a life style. She isn’t comfortable in the role of cuckoldress. She truly wants a man who will punch the bloke in the face who gets fresh with her. A husband that will send threats back at anyone who leered inappropriately.In balance to her tolerance of my proclivity towards cuckold fantasy, I have redoubled my love for her. Imagine her putting up with such a thing? She is an angel. And in response to her heavenliness, my devotion is boundless.And she has met me in the middle. Her love for me, and familiarity.
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