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. didn’t feel, you know, raped.“I guess that it’s hard to feel raped when the rapist is being all ... mushy about it. I don’t know. I don’t mean to put down other victims at all. I’m sure that they are traumatized. I’m not, for reasons that escape me. Maybe Cassidy has it right and I basically consented ahead of time, which would explain things. If I did, at least subconsciously, consent to this, then it would be why I didn’t ... and for some reason still don’t, feel violated at all or my self-determination and bodily autonomy robbed from me, my agency, if you will.“It’s going to be one of the great mysteries of my life. Objectively, if I heard about this, I would have thought that the man really was raped, but I just didn’t feel ... raped. I’ll have to find out if there is any tape of the bachelor party at all. Maybe there is. That might give me some answers. But don’t be thinking that you’ll get out of lifelong bondage to me, whatever the result. You’ve already sworn to be my bitch. Olean went on to tell what she knew of some of Ray's romances. Olean said he was reputed to be a pleasant companion and that although he did not sleep with all of his dates those he did were thrilled with him. He was said to be a great lover.It appeared to Olean that Ray was searching for the perfect person to marry and settle down with and that would be a lucky woman indeed.Lunch was wonderful for Kerry. Ray was exciting to talk to, he made her laugh and she opened up to him and gave out a lot of her thoughts and feelings.Ray in turn let her inside his head some.Later when Olean asked what she had for lunch Kerry could not remember.Both had returned to work intending to learn more about the other.Ray waited several days and then called Kerry to ask her to lunch. Kerry asked for a rain check as she was tied up with some people from the Atlanta office concerning her suggestion at the annual meeting.Kerry had gotten access to Ray's personnel file and had found his home. The home was on.
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