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Most of the games and little lessons were from my Mother. The degradation and humiliation was more from my Grandmother. They really thought it was so adorable, them treating me and teaching me how to be a girl. Momma would dress me up and let me play with barbie dolls all night long and she would love to watch me play, I loved it! I had NO clue this wasn't normal either, lol! But as I grew and got a little older.... I also became their house maid too! Sort of like Cinderella. Not always fun and hard work. It got to the point when in my teens that I did most of the house work by myself and that's where I get the "sissy maid" side of me! lol They taught me how to really clean house that's for sure, I still do it today! Lol. Even so young there was something so exciting in me for them to boss me around and even put be down and fuss at me. It certainly gave me dirty submissive feminine feelings and fantasies. I still don't understand why one's brain can be so cross wired but mine is for. The doctors said she could never have children, and this crushing blow to her maternal dream manifested itself by a lengthy depression. In the United States she had hoped her three younger brothers would someday join her. She worked vigorously for their immigration visas. She submitted affidavits and applications at the Federal Building just south of Houston street almost every day, but while doing so, her three brothers also perished, two from heart failures similar to her father’s, the third from hepatitis. When she heard of their young and untimely deaths, she cried flowing tears. Her husband sent her to psychiatrists, but they never rescued her from the sorrow of losing her immediate family and the inability to have children. Her husband thought she mourned too much and the psychiatrists would keep her out of a long depression which captured her for months.Depression, more than anything, is a form of mental apathy. The victim has trouble departing from a prolonged passive state..
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