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Some sheep, the odd cow, plenty of yellow flowers. Even the horses seem to be feeling lazy: I spot several lying on their sides in the paddocks. I wonder if they’re judging me. Shut up, Emma, you idiot. Horses mount each other in full view of everyone. There’s a crazy nightmare thought that won’t leave my head: what if my parents climb aboard? For fuck’s sake Emma! Mum and Dad never take Sundays in the country by train. Dad will be watching the football and Mum will be badgering him to do some chore or other. Ugh. The whole image makes me glad I’m doing this experiment: no way to I want to get into that kind of domestic bliss. Only Martin knows where I’m going. Parents and friends alike have been sold the line that I’m taking a holiday on a very small Greek island. One that has no phone signal. The folks took some convincing that my cottage didn’t have a landline or anything, but eventually they had to accept my incommunicado trip. I’d just lost my job after all – who wouldn’t want. Every time I did this, she'd playfully pinch my buttor cup my sack in her delicate hand, which would send me lurching upwith an embarrassed squawk - provoking laughter all over the room!But my biggest problem was a "girl" named Lateena, an exotic Latinawhose accent I found difficult to understand. She'd imperiously call outfor something, and I wasn't sure if she said "blush" or "brush" or even"dress!" And when I brought the wrong thing, she'd slap my bottom-hard!- and berate me in Spanish! And after my third or fourth failure,as I was buttoning her into a shimmering emerald green gown, her fierytemper erupted and she pulled me across her satin-clad knees for aspanking.Lying across her lap, legs kicking wildly, tears flowing down mywaterproof makeup as her hard palm cracked again and again across mytender bum, I felt keenly how far I had fallen tonight: from a wealthy,masculine-looking patron of this establishment, to a barely-clad servinggirl!The smiles and titters from the other.
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