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And this day is one of those rare days when the stress and frustration has built up in a way that rather than your loving touch I need a more... assertive... release. I’m not angry, or at least not with you (never with you), but I have a pent-up energy that needs a particular manner of release, and I am very clear as to that manner, and I am determined that that release it shall find.And as I walk in the door and you greet me and embrace me and wrap your arms round me and I wrap mine around you we hold each other and every day when we greet like this it's as if we've just discovered each other for the first time and our kiss lingers and our hands explore each other and our love fills and surrounds us and we gaze into each other's eyes and see the depth and and certainty of our commitment to each other.Today as I walk in the door you greet me but I walk to you and take your hair in one hand and pull it - not roughly but still forcefully, relentlessly - and tip your face to mine and. I kept living a good life but I knew I didnt deserve it. People I loved died because of me and, since then, Im like this. I cared about my friends a lot more than I cared for myself, thats why I didnt date James when I got the chance, even if we secretly were absurdly close to each other, thats why I didnt date Enzo either, even knowing that he has feelings for me and mask them saying that he likes Carla. I wanna get hurt, I wanna feel like I dont worth shit, but I dont want to hurt anyone in the process, that was the thought in my mind. I didnt deserve to be with any of them. That was why I was with a guy much taller than me and probably weighing more than twice as me, sandwiching me against the back wall of the bar, kissing me like crazy. Taking the risk of being prejudiced, I thought that acting all metal head and stuff, he should be a brute. He should be violent. And thats what I wanted. Youre a very naughty girl, you know? He said lifting me by the waist. I bit his lower lip. He.
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