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"I looked at her. "What's your background?" Half Mexican, half Lebanese and fat-positive computer geek. Something for every guy to be culturally alienated from! I'm too smart for the guys I grew up with and tech guys get freaked out that I come from a family full of guys who drive low riders. Like, you know, make one move on me and there'll be some guy named Ramon with a hairnet in your face with a switchblade. Or Al-Qaeda." That is so totally what I was thinking when I met you," I said. "No, that's like an entire novel, it would have taken me weeks to think all that about you."We sat for a minute, still nibbling, and I said, "Aren't you ever lonely?" That's why man invented electronics," she said. "Well, probably woman." I've done plenty of that this last week without technology," I said."And that's all I need to know," she said. "Do I wish there was a guy around to kill spiders and tell me I'm beautiful and shit sometimes? Yeah, of course I do." Right. I don't want Melissa to go.. Hello. She said Hi is this Kelly? Yes. Do you live at 12 Main St. Yes Are you a B cup? Yes she answered without hesitation. Why are you answering these questions? Because you are asking me them. So you would answer any question I ask? Yes When was the last time you masturbated he asked expecting her to hang up. This morning. She answered without thinking. Holy shit he thought. Will you do anything I ask? Of course she said. Flash your tits now. He looked across the street and saw her pull her top up, exposing her breasts and then lowered her shirt. He stared in disbelief. Still shocked he said Thank you and hung up the phone. Then he decided to test it further. He looked through his address book again and found his buddy Jake. Jake was sitting on a chair in his house and his new girlfriend Laurie was on her knees blowing him. His info came up Jake Brown 17 years 1865 Carver st 511 185lbs IQ 121 Heterosexuality 95% Bi-Curiosity 5% Promiscuity 85% Send Command? He pushed the Send.
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