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2) We can have chocolate in front of our mothers.3) We can have chocolate while driving. Car sex ties into America’s car culture, the automobile as our extension. OK, Corvettes are more-or-less big red penises, probably driven by guys with little pale ones. The designers -- use to be in Detroit, now in Yokohama -- have this figured out, though I’m not sure how my Camry projects my vagina. Maybe the cup holder.Overheard in the lunchroom. “So I opened his glove compartment to stash my bra and there was this C one”4) We can have chocolate on our desks during working hours. Any job needing a neat desktop should be done without either chocolates or sex, however. You file the legal brief and page 231 is a smeared Goo Goo Cluster! You file the negotiated settlement and on page 143 is the opposing attorney’s semen. Chocolate and sex are for after work.5) We can enjoy chocolate when it’s gone soft. This is a sexist put-down on males when nature abandons them. “Well shit, Ralph, you’ve lost it. I'll go with you for Thanksgiving and pretend to be your boyfriend." To start with. He aimed to be her real boyfriend by the time they came back. "Simon, I was . . . I was just kidding." I don't think I can do that, she thought, panicking a little. I don't know if I could just pretend . . . or stop pretending when it's over. "I know, but why not? Think about it. Your mom knows me, so you won't have to deal with the third degree. It will get her off your back for a while, you won't have to listen to her bewail your old maid status, and hey, you get to hang out with me." He looked at her with wide eyes. "You wouldn't leave me here all by my lonesome over a holiday like Thanksgiving, would you?" "I already hang out with you." She tried to sound stern but couldn't hide a giggle as she tried to settle her thoughts. Maybe she should say okay. Maybe she should just indulge the fantasy. She was so tired of dating jerks, and she knew Simon wouldn't hurt her. "Probably a bunch of people think.
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