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I hadn't planned on stealing her clothes, I promise.I had planned to do was lay on her bed, under her pink comforter, andimagine waking up a girl.But then I saw on her dresser a box marked "Smart hose 2.0 beta test"I had heard of Smart hose - seen the ads for it. It was supposedly thisrevolution in pantyhose technology, durable enough to never get a runor a hole, and guaranteed to fit any body shape.And I swear to God, the box called to me.I went over, opened the box, and pulled out the material, which seemedway too small for the job, but still I went over to the bed, gotundressed, and started trying to put the hose on.And the hose finished the job on its own.Before I knew what was happening, it had covered not only my legs buteverywhere below my neck.At which point I passed out ...Which is where I was when mom came home.She rushed me back to her work, which was the company responsible forSmart hose, and they started trying to figure out just how much troubleI was in.After they tested. It's your fault. And besides, you're more experienced. You've..." I haven't," Gloria said. "Not really. Not all the way. And anyway, with Gordon Peters?" He's not that bad," Haley said. "He has nice blue eyes. And he's kind of... kind of... kind of kind. And he's... he's..." He's such a nerd, is what he is," Gloria said. "And what he's got is a picture of your asshole." Well, maybe he won't... Maybe he hasn't... Maybe he..." Gordon Peters? Are you kidding?" said Gloria. "By now, he's probably got it plastered all over the Internet. By now, half the nerds in the known universe are riveting their pretty blue eyes to your pretty little asshole, and jetting off to beat the band."Haley moaned, and burrowed her head back under Clyde the oversized teddy bear."It's not my fault," Gloria said."Oh, yeah?" Haley answered from under the bear. "Then whose fault is it?"We could blame it on Haley's ancient, wildly wooly-haired science teacher, Mr. Wilson, who a week ago paired Haley and Gordon for.
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