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My mind wanted to shut down, I had to sleep. I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and urinated. As I wiped myself with toilet paper I heard in my mind, "Thats a good girl, you don't want to make your panties smelly." Her laughter filled my head. Sobbing I left the bathroom and went to the small bedroom. The bed was a tiny single. Did that matter now, I was only 5 foot tall and probably weighed no more than 6 stones. Sleep came slowly, and then only drifting slumber filled with scenes of my past and even more graphic scenes of my present life. I awoke , it was daylight and time for me to get ready to go to her. I went to the bathroom. My face now was totally female. Makeup stood out from my features. Mei Lings abilities were not dulled by distance. It was as if during the night my face had been etched or tatooed with permanent makeup. My tears would not and did not smudge the female decoration on my face. I screamed and cried but it all seemed so futile. "Accept your fate.". I don’t want to be like her, her confidence I mean. I have this fantasy, well several, but one I’ve had for ages. To be stripped and made love to in front of an audience, and sometimes, they join in. I don’t want the whips and things. I just want to be exposed to people, to be watched, by men and women. To be touched, and I suppose degraded a little, with words.’ She took a huge gulp of wine, and then coughed a little. ‘When I told Mark about it, he asked if I wanted the watchers to join in. I told him I didn’t think I did. He smiled and said, anything for you babe. A week or so later some of his friends came round. We got drunk, and he, started kissing and touching me. I got so worked up with their eyes on me. Mark whispered to me to get on my knees, I did, in front of them. He put his hand down my blouse and started groping my breasts. One of the men staggered to his feet, his cock was out, and he moved towards me. Mark asked me if I wanted to suck him. I was so turned on I didn’t.
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