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I was sleeping! Yes I was!A few seconds later, I tentatively opened my eyes. She was gone. I was about to sit up when I heard her approaching footsteps. I quickly closed my eyes again."Where do your parents keep your medicine stuff?" she asked. "The only thermometer I could find was this old rectal one."I sprang up into a sitting position. She was shaking the thermometer. No way!"I'm not using that!" I shouted."I need to take your temperature." I feel hot so I have a temperature. That's all anyone needs to know!" Okay," she said. "Don't get all worked up about it."Worked up about it? She was talking about shoving that thing up my ass! How could I not get worked up about it?"Isn't a nurse supposed to do no harm?" I asked."That's a doctor and besides it wasn't going to hurt."How could she know that? It was MY ass!"Lie back down. We need to starve the fever." Isn't it feed a fever?" I said, cooperating."Don't get me confused," she said.I thought it was a little late for that. Laura was. ”My thoughts were interrupted by an overly loud voice saying; “Who have we here?”I am surprised I did not get an instant migraine headache with how far I rolled my eyes in my head. Both ladies chuckled at my actions, then mommy neighbor turned and introduced us to her husband. She explained how she and my girl are good friends and we are neighbors from down the street and we were seeing one another.Typically, when I am introduced to someone I am meeting for the first time, I don’t blurt out that I am a firefighter. Women, for the most part, do not ask what I do for a living after introductions. Men, however, ask soon thereafter so they can begin the bragging and chest-puffing ritual of male dominance.One thing I have learned with my tenure in the fire service, there will always be someone better, tougher, smarter, and has experienced more harrowing situations than me. Just ask them.Mommy neighbor’s husband was no exception. We did the customary shaking of hands and nice to me.
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