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I was now one of the statistics of the 10-20% of children that weresexually abused. I was also one of the children that kept it a secret,because I was confused and afraid. We went back to the USA. I had a boyfriend at this stage. Andrew and Iwere very close to each other and enjoyed each other's company. There wasnothing sexual in our relationship. We acted like normal children thatloved each other. He would hold my hand, or push me on the swings, or thepuppy love kiss. I quickly forgot about my uncle and was once againhappy. But I have experienced something that changed me. When we shopped for clothes, my mother picked my brothers clothes. I wasnow 9 and I was becoming better at not wetting during the daytime. Whenwe picked clothes for me, my mother usually tried to show me some boy'sclothes. Asking if I thought they were nice. No doubt she knew that I wasbeing teased. She knew that I considered myself a princess. Even thoughshe didn't stop calling me that name, she wanted the best. I guess he was about 50. He'd been a co-worker at the office where she worked, and I suspected that he might also have been a lover. Aunt Natalie had never married. He certainly seemed very upset by her loss, and as we talked on the front terrace of her house he took my hand and I comforted him.And it seemed quite natural for me to comfort him in any way I could. Words didn't seem enough. I kissed him and then pressed him between his legs. And his hand going up my skirt in response seemed equally comforting for me too. The touch of his fingers on my wet kang kang seemed like an act of kindness. This wasn't sex as I'd ever known it before. This was something altogether different. It seemed quite natural, almost like in a dream, that I should go round to the back of my Aunt's house and lift up my skirt and pull down my pantyhose and knickers to have sex with this stranger who'd I'd only met at the funeral service about an hour earlier. There was little foreplay - just the sex-act.
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