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On behalf of the Governor of The Great State of Florida, Charlie Crist, and myself, thank you ... I mean, really THANK YOU! ... for sending your high school seniors and college age daughters to the beaches of sunny Florida for Spring Break.You know that for the last 6 to 8 months we've been putting up with your parents. Your whiny, lard-assed, always complaining parents that you are overjoyed to see head off to Florida every winter. Otherwise you would have to listen to them complain, right? That's OK. We tolerate them. They're good for the economy. Even though they drive 40 in the outside lane of a four lane Interstate highway. And even though they put on their left turn signal then drift right across three lanes of traffic. And even when the New Yorkers complain that the bagels aren't as good here, and the New Jerseyites complain that the subs aren't as good. And all of them complain that everything costs so much, even though they don't buy anything unless they have a coupon for. I also started to go to the tanning salontwice a week. By the end of the summer, just 6 months later, my littleexperiment was a success. I was now 145 lbs. and with the help of thehormones my measurements were 38A-26-38.During this time Olivia and I became friends. She would invite me togallery events as she was the manager. I would always stay behind and helpher close up the gallery then we would go for a drink or coffee and talk.I could tell she was beginning to wonder about my changes."Stephen, are you ill?" Olivia asked."No, not at all," I responded. "In fact I have never felt healthierphysically." Why did you clarify that you feel better physically, do you not feel goodemotionally?" she asked."Well I just don't feel like myself," I responded."Stephen, I haven't known you for that long but from all the signs I seeeither you are ill, which you say you are not, or..." she paused. "Yourbody is changing from something else."I began to speak, but before I could say anything she added,.
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