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Every few hours I usher in the limited number of visitors and I try to smile and be comforting and supportive because, heaven knows, my patients are more than the dear old lady in that bed.That's draining. Even more draining when I come in for the shift and see that the patient in the room is different.So I go home and Chuck gets to hold me. "Bad day?" he asks."Mrs. Johnson didn't make it." She was ninety-one, baby. Had her family there. Probably would've been better if they took 'er out of ICU." I know. Chuck, when I go, I want people to love me like that." You know they will, my Jenn. I love you like that."He was caressing my head when I determined that he should be kissed. I need his kisses. He needs mine.Right now I'm on my way home. I get home a half hour before he does. That means I get to do dinner tonight, at least the entrée. A couple of weekends ago we did a Saturday full of cooking, the idea being that we'd stock our freezer with frozen entrées that we could pop into the. ’ Jeff’s anger has stopped its flow of tears and has formed hot, hard knots in his belly and jaw. He watches Ernie as he helps clean up. But Ernie does not cry. Not Ernie. He just keeps getting thrown in. Over and over. ‘Poor Les,’ Jeff thinks, happy for once that he is such a shrimp, such a wimp, that dad never thought of making him do it. Would he have refused? Dad? Probably not. Jeff scurries quietly away to hide in his book, glancing up every now and then to check on Ernie’s progress. By the end of forty minutes or so, (Jeff can time it by his reading speed), poor Ernie’s tiny frame is blue and pimpled with chill. ‘If it goes on much longer I’ll do something. I really will,’ Jeff tells himself, hoping it is not a lie, hoping he will not be tested in that way. Finally Dad signals for Ernie’s release and Les brings him over. Lee has been gone who knows where. Mom rushes over and envelopes Ernie in one of the family’s enormous beach towels. Suddenly Jeff feels a wave of anger rush.
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