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And Joe?”“Yes?”“I’d like us to be friends. I’m attracted, but not as much as these two I think. I did a very uncatholic thing and had a hysterectomy.”“So the ugly duckling finds a man and gets pregnant with a bastard,” one of the daughters remarked snidely.Both parents reacted strongly and loudly. I did too. “The ugly duckling turns out to be a swan,” I pointed out, restraining a yell. “Which is perfectly apt, because your sister is lovely. She may seem plain, and may have acted the role, but she has the most remarkable eyes, and as she has finally revealed to the world, an incredible body. Not to mention her brilliant mind and beautiful soul. In what way are you better than her? None that I can tell, especially the last of those things. She attracted me. You two don’t in the least.”“You’re kidding,” said the other daughter, obviously not getting it.“He’s not,” said their mother. “I love you, like a mother loves her daughters. And, God forbid, if you died, it would be like losing my. I hadnt considered this side of the tryst and I did not want to lose a friend over it. Becky on the other hand looked at me across the dining room, a brief and subtle smile flashed across her face. Later as Theresa came and refilled my coffee she leaned in with a conspiratorial look on her face and whispered, damn, what did you do to her? I played dumb and shrugged. You have any idea how hard it was to be around her husband when she was so sore and swollen? she continued. Well? I asked. Well, Theresa said, shes hooked. Hadnt heard from her, I said. She hasnt been able to get away lately, but dickhead is going out of town soon. She straightened up, gave me a crooked little grin and then went on to other tables. It was about a week after that when she called, she said that her husband was going out of town and the kids were visiting grandparents for a few days. My dad was in L.A. working on the sale that would eventually pay for his retirement. I was finishing the lawn about the time.
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