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A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.“Son, is your mother home?” The little boy nods yes.“Can I see her please?” The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep.“Son, do you see what your mother is doing?” The boy nods yes.“Do you know what that is?” The boy nods.“Doesn’t that bother you?”“Naaaaaaaaaaaah!”How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?If she can run faster that her brothers.Everybody from the North thinks everybody from the South is just sitting around, barefoot, wearing overalls, eating grits, watching ‘Hee Haw,’ listening to country music, drinking Jack Daniel’s, going to tractor pulls, wearing trucker caps, dipping Skoal, picking cotton, riding around in pickup trucks, having sex with our relatives, and looking for UFOs. And that’s not true -- it’s not -- I’ve never seen a UFO, and second cousins don’t. I could see the time was getting close to go to the mall, and I was almost finished with my yard. I moved the mower into my neighbors yard and walked back to my house. I quickly stripped and turned invisible. I ran back over to my neighbors house to find her garage open. I climbed into the back seat of her car and waited for her to go to the mall. A few minutes later she got in the car and we were off to the mall. It was very difficult to be in such close proximity and stay quiet. Lucky for me she kept the radio on fairly loud. We arrived at the mall and parked in the lot. It was fairly busy and there were plenty of cars around. My neighbor got out of the car and after she got about four or five cars away I slowly got out of the back seat. I caught up to my neighbor and stayed a few feet behind her going through the mall. She was looking around an awful lot and she looked a little nervous. It was about forty five minutes until noon and she was taking her time looking around. No doubt.
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