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." "Fat cat." "Oh great, we like the rich ones." "No, she has a fat cat, wants me to pop round at 2 - keeps trying to eat her. Can you check the diary and see if I'm free and if not could you cover for me whilst I go?" "Sure." She begins checking the diary. "No Mrs Kerberos and Freddie the farting fox terrier?" I ask. "...the first picture of you, the first picture of... err no she rang to say that she didn't think 'poor little Freddie' was up to it today." "That's a relief. The first picture of you... I'm doing it now. Who's that by, oh don't tell me, erm, early 80s." "The Lotus Eaters. 2pm is fine for your intriguing fat cat woman, I've put it in the diary. Right, well I better get ready for our first patient of the day," she says as she goes into the consultation room. I go into the back to scrub up, I dry my hands and return to the front desk to look in the diary to see who's next. "Helen, the entry for 9.30 - 10.00 says - 'Helen'!?" "Yep, that's right, it's me, don't tell me. She has french features and a fiesty attitude. It made for great sex. One night Max and I were chilling his room. He was rolling up a fat one for us to smoke but when he finished he turned to me and posed a question out of the blue. “You mind if I smoke this one and you smoke another one…” “What…” I said from his bed where I lay. I looked over to Max - sitting across in a computer chair - He lit up and took a toke, exhaling he said “I’ll smoke this one and you smoke the other one…” I shrugged and asked where the other one was. He pointed down so I got up and took a lot under his computer desk. He laughed and said it was in front of his chair. So here I was on my knees in front of Max’s computer chair. I looked on the ground but couldn’t find anything. When I brought my head up to his chair level I clued into where the one I would be smoking was. Max had his hand pointed to his crotch as he took a long drag. I nudged forward and hesitated figuring that this was it… the point of.
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