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All the videos were here at my home in our living room or bedroom, there was no other video. There was talk of lubes and other things, which I now searched for and as able to find in the lower drawer of my wife’s nightstand. A couple of used anal lubes, vibrating butt plug, but I guess what I found strangest was from the closet was some black straps, some kind of restraint. Now I don’t have much knowledge on them because I never used such things with women. But I have seen videos before of things like this. To describe them they were four black straps, which would be attached to a persons ankles and wrist and each pair could be connected together via a short chain along with a neck strap and a long chain, which when I saw it I did manage a, “Holy Shit!” . Where did my wife get this stuff? Now what was strange too is because in all the videos I saw, Heather never used them or things like that. I am sure Karen would have told me about them for certain, because they would be unusual for. I saw the front of my mother's home blowing outward in a rain of beige stucco, chicken wire, twisted stumps of wood and flying, burning insulation. Inside I saw the fire caress the flesh I had loved, all in slow motion. I saw my family burn and die.The rage washed through me, I owned it, made it mine, tucked it away in a corner of my heart for future use. I stood up and looked around, I needed to apologize to Marco.And so it went. I learned to deflect emotions. That was his lesson. And it was my first lesson. He took me through pain, rage, sadness, guilt, embarrassment, the whole range of emotions that could be used to cripple me, stop me. I learned to own them, let them pass through me without eating my soul or mind.The next lesson was equally fun. One day, when I was working on training nine prairie dogs to stand on their hind legs and wave at me, Loris walked out of the trailer. He carried a two by two piece of pine board in his hand."I'm gonna hit you with this. Your job is to.
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