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She had tried complaining to him at first, but he had standard retorts: "Don't be silly, Sarah, there's nothing illegal about keeping that stuff around in your own house." And: "Maybe you ought to consider doing a little swapping yourself, ourselves. At your age there's no chance of getting pregnant, and we haven't got so long to go in this world that we can afford to pass up any side amusements. You can't tell, it might be fun, doll. Why don't you trust me and find out?"She had steadfastly refused his obscene suggestions, however. Right up to the point where she felt that she was losing him. He would go out and stay out all hours after awhile, and not make any excuse. In the morning she would find his shorts covered with lipstick. Finally she couldn't take any more of his silent, withdrawn treatment. She consented tearfully to do whatever he wanted, if it would make him happy and he would stop being silent with her.In short, she did it initially -- started swapping -- solely to. If I could sing to you a song, I'd sing of love that can't go wrong..."We stayed in touch after that, writing letters, calling each other a lot, and after my initial breaking down, we managed to remain friends... but I never gave up on her, never gave up on thinking that maybe, just maybe, we could have what we once had. Even after two years, I still held out hope for it... but realistically, my hopes for us began to fall apart.I sought, and had other lovers, but none like Diane. It seemed like every day, I had fantasies that I couldn't cast away; while at night, the erotic dreams and thoughts of making love to her were almost terrifying."If we're together... We can make a brand new life for us together... As married man and wife, we'll stay together From nowon, until death do us part... and even then I hopethat our love lasts forever..."I sat at the table, listening to the song. "It's no use," I said to myself, with tears in my eyes. "It's time for me to get on with my life....
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