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” It was obvious he was talking about Lucy. “Her sister is a carpet muncher. Maybe she is too?” Paul was searching for some rationale other than ‘Lucy doesn’t want to have sex with me.’ “Probably not,” I said. “I asked Danny yesterday at the store what was up with Lucy. He said she is the world’s premier dick tease. He added that when she’s decided she’s done teasing, she moves in for the kill. He promised you’d get laid, just on Lucy’s terms instead of yours.” That’s when Randy and Barb walked in. They joined us on the patio after hitting the refrigerator for beers. It was pleasant outside, so Randy dropped his clothes in the kitchen and wore only his jock. Barb stayed dressed – for the moment. She asked if we had any cardboard and a marker. Not sure what this was about, Randy retrieved them. Barb made up a sign and stuck it to the wall. “Pants Free Zone.” A few weeks later, she replaced it with a wooden sign atop a stake. It’s still there. We got introductions all around. Barb. ‘OK Ms. Funny-as-fuck, I hope you feel good about yourself, I am going home, ready.’ ‘OK, OK, I’m coming, Josh it was a great experience, I hope we can do it again soon, well without the whole glasses disaster thing.’ She pointed at the wet patch on the floor. Issy’s eyebrows arched. Bill stood, bent forward and kissed him on the cheek then straightened and downed the wine. As she placed the glass on the table he stood awkwardly, pint in hand, legs still crossed and trapped his knee under the table. In attempting to stay upright and rescue the table and wine glass his own glass slipped out of his hand, they heard the crash tinkle sounds again. ‘For Fucks sake Greening go home before I run out of glasses,’ Ted shouted across the bar, wringing his dishcloth theatrically. Issy stared at Josh, then Bill, she paused then looked again at her younger sister and the glow on her face, ‘Professor Greening, would you like to come back for supper?’ Issy said. ‘What, well, why that would be.
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