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" I gave him a shit-eating grin. Then he turned to Jared and Amanda and said, "Do you know that she gets goose bumps on her arms when you hold her hand?" And then he disappeared.I just stood there, jaw all agape. Amanda looked at me funny. I didn't know what to say. I just shrugged my shoulders, and we walked to lunch. I ate with the gang, not Chuck.Unfortunately, I got called down the office halfway during lunch to be reprimanded. Evidently, intercourse in the middle of the school hall isn't a 'reasonable request'. Hey, sounded reasonable to me. And I was on the receiving end of the request, wasn't I? Mr. Tilling disagreed. "Too disruptive," or something like that.So, I had to wait until after school. Which I did. "Who wants to go in the woods?" I had a number of volunteers. I picked a cutie, took him into the woods, and got myself laid again. That's three today. Much, much better.He took off after we did the deed. I got myself up off the ground and proceeded to start to get out of. President, but rules are rules." Please, there must be something you can do. I need to cash this check so I can buy Michelle aValentine's Day present."The cashier thinks for a minute."I'll tell you what, Mr. President. Two weeks ago, Tiger Woods was here and in the same situation. He proved who he was by making an amazing putt all the way across the bank lobby into a coffee cup."Then, just last week, Andre Agassi had to prove who he was, so he used his tennis racket and lobbed a ball all the way across the bank lobby into that same coffee cup."In both cases, we took that as identification and cashed their checks," she explained."So, Mr. President, is there something you can do that would prove that you are, indeed, BarrackHussein Obama, president of the United States?" she asked.Obama stands in front of her for a moment, frowning in thought."You know, he says, I can't think of a thing.My mind is a total blank. I have absolutely no idea what to do in this situation," he.
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