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Monday was even harder than Sunday. All day Monday all I could do was worry about what Sonya was doing. Was Tony after her and if he was, would she be able to resist whatever hold he had on her. I got home that night before Sonya and immediately began to worry about where she was and why she wasn't home yet. I imagined that Tony had asked Sonya to stop for a drink and that she had accepted. I had ignored her all day Sunday and maybe she felt unwanted and turned to Tony for comfort. The agony of waiting was almost too much to bear. Luckily, I only had to wait ten minutes before I heard Sonya's car pulling into the garage.At that moment I realized that I couldn't keep giving Sonya the silent treatment like I had on Sunday. I didn't want to drive her away from me and to him.When Sonya entered the house she looked sad. She walked slowly over to me and kissed me. When I kissed her back her face brightened a little."You do still love me don't you?" She said.I said, "Yes. Of course I do but. Mr. Brown Eyes did apologize, but his apology came with a lot of "buts" - "But, you didn't give me enough attention." "But, you didn't please me sexually." "But, you didn't try to look good for me."~~As I lay in bed at night, I see him fucking her tight, perfect pussy. Her beautiful, round tits bounce with each thrust. I see her crying out in ecstasy and the smug look on his lying, cheating face. I see her beauty - the beauty I don't have. I see his desire for her - that he didn't have for me. These are the thoughts that haunt someone who had a loved one cheat. You believe you are less than.Snap out of it, Kimmi. You will show him!And so I venture out again to prove to myself I am beautiful and desirable. I desperately crave to be told I am beautiful now. I need that as much as I need the air I am breathing. I have a hole that must be filled. Only a hard fuck will fill it. I need a man to tell me I am attractive to feel attractive. I need a man to tell me I am.
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