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When night came, and the house was quiet, he made a beeline to my room, I could hear his drunk shuffle outside my door and I knew what was coming. The first rape was the most painful, I cried the rest of the night and into the morning. He took me over and over again in that first hour. His palm pressed hard against my mouth. His belt buckle left welts that didn't fade for days and the bruises on my inner thighs kept me from my horse back riding. The next weeks until school began were my worst. I told no one and suffered through the encounters with silence. He raped me anywhere he could, taking all he wanted and leaving nothing behind, none of my soul, no whole part of my body untouched. I think this is the point in my life where I became hardened against the world and it's expectations. The dark relationship with my uncle continued until I was sixteen, when I began to fight back. I would fight, the beatings would get worse. But when I fought back, I became excited. My pussy started. "Do you mean like your 'girlfriend'?" And Spencer says 'Girlfriend' in a high pitched valley girl voice and you shake your head once."She and I…" You begin but trail off to wipe angrily at the tears escaping your eyes and you don't know why you're crying but all of a sudden you are and then Spencer is pulling you into his chest and he smells like cheese and fabric softener.You tell him everything and you apologize for not telling him earlier and for feeling this way and it’s like every fear you have comes pouring out of you and he just shushes you and tells you how much he loves you, how much your fam!ly loves you, no matter what.It feels like forever later when you’re sitting on the couch with your knees pulled to your chest and your head tucked under Spencer's chin, his arm heavy around your shoulder."You could've done worse." Spencer says and it’s hard to hear over the cottony buzz in your ears from crying but you lick at your chapped lips and smile."Yeah?" Yeah, sure. I mean.
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