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Susan McTavish.”She let me in, the house was the same, only the wallpaper was different.“Well, who’s this handsome young man?” my mom Lorraine came out to ask.“Excuse me ma’am, my name is Douglas Goode. Susan here asked me in to have a glass of water. I have been looking for my dog, Scruffy for two hours in the heat – I hope nothing’s happened to him. I have had him since I was nine years old...”“I thought you said his name was Ruffles?” Susan said.Damn! Marty told me to keep my lies easy to remember, “Well, everybody else calls him Ruffles, when he used to climb up on my bed to rest, I started calling him Scruffy – he’s too old to get up on my bed anymore.” I started to cry a little, not intentionally.I felt an arm on my back, “Come sit down, Douglas, it sounds like you miss him – like he might already be gone. Lorraine, could you get him a big glass of water, please?” Susan asked.I heard a baby cry, “Well it sounds like Linda’s up,” mom said coming out of the kitchen handing me the. I choose to trust my friends and enjoy private moments with them. No election is more important to me than these people that went to Iraq with me to find and bring back Steve and Chip. I’m actually proud of these photos. The electorate has the final decision on how they feel about my conduct when they enter the voting booth. ‘I do have a favor to ask of the public, regardless of their political preferences. For years, Naomi has claimed that my ass is bigger than hers. This is the perfect opportunity to correct that misconception. I’d like to ask everyone to study these pictures on the internet and then let me know which ass is bigger. I’m quite confident that public opinion will be heavily in favor of my little tush being much smaller. It’s quite obvious to me in these photos. Are there any more questions?’ ‘Are you really telling us that you’re more concerned about who has the bigger butt than you are about what voters think of you being seen naked with a man other than Steve.
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