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In bed, I am nude. He watches me as I take the KY and smear it on my rear. I place the end of the tube into me and squeeze a generous amount inside. He knows I do not like anal sex. I find it painful. I also find it humiliating that my womanhood is ignored, left untouched, in favor of my other hole. Of course he enjoys seeing me prepare myself for anal invasion. This makes me feel more ashamed; more embarrassed, and further humiliates me. This excites him even more. I wonder if the time will come when he will not use my pussy at all. When I am excited by long foreplay anal intercourse is at best a painful interlude, to be endured, a gift to your partner. Today, unaroused, it will be torture.I look at him, seeking guidance. Does he want me on my back, my knees up, my legs up over my head? Does he want me on all fours? It hurts more with me on all fours. I imagine he will prefer it that way. He has me lie flat on the bed. A large pillow under my pelvis. He places a smaller pillow under. .. I might want to love him as well."You probably could have knocked both of us over just by waving a stiff piece of cardboard at us. I know my jaw dropped. It was just so sudden! She had just dropped it like a bomb. No dissembling, no attempt to soften the blow. She had simply told her son that she loved me for the same reasons he did.Of course if he'd have thought it all out, attribute by attribute, he'd have realized that she and I hadn't had the time or opportunity to exchange all the things that he and I had. We hadn't had hours long talks under the stars as we camped out in the back yard, talking about anything and everything. She hadn't been bullied by John Timberlake, who then had to face me screaming and waving my arms like a madman, drawing the attention of dozens of other kids (and three teachers.) It had worked too. He thought I was crazy, and he left us both alone after that. There were hundreds of things Scott and I had shared that his mother and I had not.But he didn't.
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