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." and then look away almost ashamed.I drove her home and kept telling her it was okay and that I understood why she didn't want to, but it seemed like she was still upset when I dropped her off, and I was as well, I didn't want to take her virginity away, I knew after taking a exes away that she would never forget and and most likely regret it. But yet I wanted her so badly.I saw her in school the following monday, she came to me but said nothing, I wanted her just to be happy so I gently kissed her and held her for some minutes, she looked at me almost confused and asked me if I was angry, I said of course not and kissed her again, after that she seemed more happy, but I had a hard time kissing her on later dates knowing I would never be able to take it farther.. or so I thought.On a late friday night I came to her mom's apartment with a couple of old movies, Rain met me at the door kissing me, then led me back to her room, I walked over to her tv and popped in a movie, she stopped. "Yea, I understand," he answered enthusiastically. "First, this is a onetime only occurrence. It happens once and we never even talk about it again." I took a bit of time to let it sink in, while Kyle sat listening intently. "Second, under no circumstances do you tell another living soul about this. NO ONE!!!!" I stated, staring directly into his eyes."Okay, I agree," he quickly muttered, nodding his head like a bobble head doll. "I'm going to my room for a while, and then I'm going to take a long bath. I want you to come to my room at 8:30, okay?" Sure Mom, eight thirty," he replied enthusiastically.Was I completely insane? I may have enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine earlier, but my mind seemed sharp as a tack. An ongoing dialog ran back and forth in my head nonstop. At times I listened to the voice that said this was crazy and I needed to stop things before they got out of control. But at others a more resolute voice emphasized it was the only way to move forward, so I needed to.
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