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"She agreed, and left. Though she had not given me the slightest come-on, the idea of being alone with her, even in school, had me wet the rest of the day. When she returned, I was seated at the small conference table in the corner. I watched as she walked toward me, her hips swiveling like a runway model, yet in total innocence. I was afraid to stand up lest my wetness give me away. She sat next to me and opened her textbook.After a few minutes of discussion, with Nancy answering each successively more difficult question correctly, she was stumped and silent. Her eyes danced between my own and the textbook, as she waited for me to give the clue that would help her toward the answer. But I sat silently, looking only at her eyes, just inches from mine. Finally she stopped looking at the text and returned my stare. Ten seconds seemed like an hour.I will never know if I actually saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes or if I just couldn't control myself; I reached up and put my hand. I just sat and watched and twirled the wedding band. The next day when the funeral was done, I realized we’d all just cried all over the dead body that was nothing more than that, a dead body. His soul was gone, there was nothing there that was him but his features. He was finally buried, and that’s just it- it’s just his remains. That is no longer my father. His resting place will be marked by a headstone bearing his name, but no more. That’s all the more personal it gets. His essence is gone. It will live in our hearts and minds and souls forever. ‘People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality, but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad.’ ~Marcel Proust I once wrote something about a friend from high school who had died. I wrote, ‘The easy part is remembering, the hard part is forgetting he’s gone.’ This.
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