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I was never caught, not once, inall those years of dressing up but that was mainly because I was socautious. I never once left the bathroom, not even when I knew that Iwas home alone. I was a coward but with good reason; I'd seen what myfather did when my older siblings broke his rules and none of them hadever done anything that would be as bad in my father's eyes as a boywearing girl's clothing. I wanted to dress up, but I wanted to live too.Anyway I kept my secret all the way through high school and did my bestto live a 'normal' life in public. I asked out some girls only to beturned down as I was small and apparently completely unattractive tothem. I didn't know why their negative responses were such a relief tome. I thought that I was just scared of going on that first date; Iwouldn't know what to do, how to act, but it reality I just didn't wantto date a woman. Even then I was gay; I just hadn't admitted it tomyself. My family was poor but I had good enough grades to earn a. So the new equation is 2 = y. ‘You did the exact same thing to both sides so you don’t change the nature of the relationship. That’s kind of what you’re doing with double-entry accounting.’ ‘Shit. Why didn’t they just say that?’ He shrugged. ‘It sure is easier to know what to do when you understand why you’re doing it.’ He nodded. He didn’t talk a lot. ‘Why couldn’t they just say that?’ ‘Understanding things is easier if you can see them in a context you already understand. They don’t have you one on one, so they can’t tell if the metaphor worked for you. I have the advantage of trying out as many metaphors as I need to get the idea across.’ ‘You’re a smart guy.’ ‘I was given some gifts. Everybody gets gifts. You got intelligence, personality, a nice smile.’ I smiled my nice smile. It was a compliment, not an homage. I liked it. It reeked of sincerity. But it was unsettling. ‘Thanks.’ This guy was different. He treated me with respect. He related to me as a person. To him I was not.
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