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I put the matches in my pocket for later use and then sat in the chair near the table and began the meditation process. When I had achieved trance, I called the manna to me. "Come to me. Let us work together. Come to me, old friend. Come to me, most faithful of companions. Come to me." It came easier than it had the night before. I drew it in until I was full.I opened my eyes and stood. As my attention wavered, I lost some of the manna, but I still held enough to serve. The first order of business was to cast the circle. I walked to the north. My athame was not yet consecrated, so I used the extended index and middle fingers on my right had. I drew the pentagram for air in the air, parallel to the walls. As I did so, I fed my inscription a trickle of manna and envisioned the lines being made of air. Air itself is hard to visualize, so I pictured in my mind's eye a vortex of leaves, colorful smoke, and streamers. I said aloud, softly, "May the elemental power of air bless and protect. There was a side to Charlotte that I didn't know at all.And she'd been masturbating like a fiend while I talked with Steve on the phone. She was horny as hell. Why in god's name had I left her? Ouch!Still, how can she give herself to someone so cheesy like that? Couldn't she see it? She was smarter than that, wasn't she?Maybe she wasn't. Maybe, no matter how much I wanted her to be the Charlotte I saw in my mind, the loving, loyal, sweet Charlotte, she would never become that. Maybe it was all an illusion. Maybe the dream was over. Maybe it had never even really begun. Maybe it was all just wishful thinking, on both of our parts. Maybe we were through.There was a lump in my throat. I was almost crying by the time I got to Sheila's."You want me to wait for you? How long you gonna be." What do you think you're gonna find if you go back there?" she asked me."I think I'm gonna find Charlotte being Charlotte. I'd be silly to expect her to be anything else." Glad you realize that, Anthony..
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