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I can hope that he will allow me to apologize for my mistakes and for making him go crazy. It was my fault that he spent all those years in prison, away from his life and his work and his son. It was my fault and I had to let him know how sorry I was. I had to tell him that it was never anything he did that caused me to do something so stupid and so selfish. God, how selfish was I? Even now when I remember the way I was thinking back then, it makes me sick to my stomach. Sick and miserable.I wonder what he thinks about me now? Or, if he even does think of me. And did he think of me during all those years? Like I thought of him? How many nights did he fall asleep, his hands holding his erection, wishing it were my hand holding him? As many as I did, using my fingers to ease the pain I felt from not having his body on mine, his hardness inside me where it belonged? All those years lost, the nights we could have been together, making love like we did before it all went to hell. Before I. Brandon was still working on and off but with Kate’s salary they were keeping their heads above water. Sometime about two years ago Kate caught Brandon cheating again and told him she was done. It led to a violent argument and the end result was a fractured cheekbone on Kate’s face. Brandon moved out and went back to his parent’s home where he still lived. Since then Brandon, his parent’s and Kate mother had tried to reconcile them. Apparently, Kate’s father was the only one on her side. Kate filed for legal separation and had begun divorce proceeding but Brandon was always putting things off. As far as Brandon was concerned, Kate was at her wit’s end with him. Later in the conversation, I explained my life and the story of Robin and Michelle and how I had arrived at this point. Before we knew it we had been talking for over two hours. We left a few minutes later and went our separate ways. Several weeks later, Kate came into my office looking a bit nervous. She sat down in the chair.
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