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If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die”. “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely”. On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?” “He said you’re going to die” she replied.Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people’s lives?” Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.I bumped into my ex in town earlier. I said “How’s your new bloke?” “He’s twice the man you are” she sneered “what about your new woman?” I said “Thankfully she’s half the woman you are... ?”Our. Me, I'm a simple guy who likes my sex to be simple too, usually both of us naked with me on top thrusting between her perfect legs. She wasn't like that, she like it rough. The first time I found this out was when one time she was sitting astride my lap with my hard cock deeply imbedded inside her. I was happily spending my time fondling her fine tits when she called out."Slap me," she groaned."What?" I replied."Slap me, hurt me," she shouted.At first I just gently slapped her rear, not very hard."Harder, hurt me," she shouted again.So I slapped her harder."Yes, yes," she grunted, "across my tits too."She had never called her breasts tits before; I slapped her hard across her pert tits. Her hips took off, grinding themselves against me."Oh my god yes," she cried, so I hit her again.Her orgasm hit her hard then and it was the biggest I had ever seen her have."Oh my, she sighed, "that was nice."She opened her big blue eyes and smiled down at me. In all the confusion I hadn't actually.
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