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Was he cruel?”Allison paused for a moment. “He raped me ... but he wasn’t interested in causing pain, not like the others...” Allison sighed and reluctantly let her mind relive the memory. “It was Mandy’s turn for night shift work. She was feeling very depressed and looking awful. I ... I askedChicoto take me instead. Mandy started crying...”Allison sniffled and went on. “Chicotook me to his bedroom. I let him undress me. And then I let him pet me. Maybe it was technical rape only, but it was still rape. Chicohad me naked on his bed. He was petting me. I was listless, trying to take my mind elsewhere. He had lube, and I had just gone through this nonsense with Jessica less than an hour ago. When I felt his finger enter my vagina, all the way up inside me, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I just lost it and flipped out! I screamed at him and told him to shoot me instead!”Another sigh. “I think I was really expecting to die. ButChicolooked embarrassed, more than embarrassed, ashamed of. Wanted it more than anything. That’s why I was going to force it; tonight, by my own hand.Then, would you like to change the lives of those you hold dear?I hadn’t expected another message.The faces of the two women I lived with—my aunt and my younger sister—surfaced momentarily from the depths of my selfishness, but I closed my eyes to them.Aunt Riley was getting by just fine without my help, and Jessie—You’re running away from it.—was better off without a useless brother like me. I selected “no” again.There was no third prompt.Since I didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, I walked aimlessly around my small coastal Florida town of Navarre taking pictures of whatever happened to catch my attention. I’d like to say they were the best pictures I’d ever taken. To say that before my death a miracle occurred and I captured my last will and testament in photographic form.If miracles like that really occurred, maybe I wouldn’t have felt like running away.No, the pictures I took were as.
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