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Standing in front of me was the sternfigure of my landlord - or rather, landlady. Dee stood in a starkcontrast to the rest of the whiteness as she was wearing a midnight blacktuxedo in a feminine cut that emphasized the curve of her hips and herbreasts; her skin seemed to shimmer in the void."Hello, Loren," she said."What?" was all I was able to sputter in reply.I looked down and saw that I was in my own body again and it wascompletely naked. The pleasure of the void invaded my dick and I had aperma-hard on. I covered myself discreetly with one hand."I'm here to make a deal with you," she said."About our lease?" Yes. If you do a small favor for me, I'll let you and all of yourgirlfriends out of the lease. No penalty and I'll return half of thedeposit."I really didn't like where this was going; the hairs on the back of myneck stood up and I felt cold shivers through my body."What exactly do I have to do for you?" I need your help to get me into a certain body. A very specific body,. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And he saw that it was all rather asinine, but who cares? After all, he was God, wasn't he? What is omnipotence good for if the almighty can't enjoy a few jokes?And God said, So what do I do for an encore? Maybe I will make an animal.
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