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For two months straight everyday I was forced to either eat his cum or had his cum vaginally deposited inside me, and sometimes even anally! After two months, I became pregnant, that was when he rejected me. I felt betrayed and angry, mostly angry at myself for being so stupid. He refused to marry me, and I was about to be deported because my student visa was about to expire. Sometimes I felt angry, sometimes I felt sad, but sometimes I had a strange feeling of satisfaction because I was impregnated by a white man. My baby will have more status after she or he is born. Strangely even though I was betrayed, I feel joyful deep inside down. I have provided my baby with better sustenance than I ever could. I have accomplished my mission as a woman. Maybe after my child is born he or she will look for his or her biological father, or maybe he or she will think his or her mother behaved like a total slut, or perhaps even hate me, but as long as he or she will live a better life. I see her: surrounded by the darkness that pours from my wounded heart, that gushes from my wounded soul, my river of eternal pain, wreathed in beauty. I see her. My Anne. Gripped with intense passion, she cries my name. I fight back the tears that threaten to destroy the beauty of the moment. Bliss. It hangs in the air, pure and untainted for a small moment that lasts forever. I’m with her again, my Anne. Her soft curls, her hands on my skin. Our racing hearts, our heated breath. I look her over, creating a new memory, healing my wounds. Then the darkness around us shimmers and my body slows. Before this rapturous moment ends, before it’s gone, I crush my mouth to hers, kissing deeply. Her lips are petals, her body is my bread and honey. I close my eyes and lose myself in her, nourishing and soothing myself. Quaking from an unsteadiness in my muscles, I slow and soon bring myself to a stop. The pressing dark has dissipated, the energy leeched from the room. With a smile, I.
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