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I'm married; and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and best of all ... Medicare pays $43 of it.This one is compliments of JerryYou Know You Are In A Redneck Church If... ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. ... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up. ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. ... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." ... The congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory. ... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub. ... the collection plates are hubcaps from a '56 Chevy. ... instead of. Had my dick...sucked by a girl...before!Oooohhhh,yeah!That's it!Suck it real good!Aaaahhhh!"Just then,after she had laid herself next to me and whispered in my ear,"Now I want you to do what you want to me.",I've started licking all over her body--all the way down to her hot,wet pussy and carressing her firm breasts."Aaaahhhh,yeah!That's it!Do it,Kenny!",said Amanda,after she had placed her hands on my shoulders."Touch me!Touch me there!Suck my wet pussy dry!It turns me on!Aaaahhhh!"And then,after I've placed my cock inside her hot,moist snatch and started sucking on the nipples of her tits,I've suddenly realized that even though we were suppossed to only be cousins,we were really enjoying fucking and sucking each other.Just then,after I've placed my dick inside her tight ass and started carressing her tits and cunt,a sexually-energized Amanda had placed her hands on my arms and yelled,"AAAAHHHH,YEAH!THAT'S IT!DO IT,YOU FUCKING SHIT-HEAD!FUCK ME!I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME!SLAM IT ALL INTO.
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