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Here it is. You know how much your mother and I love Abbie. She’s always been very close to us, especially me. She’s been Papa’s little girl since I first saw her little face at the hospital.”“I know. Abbie absolutely adores you. You’re an excellent grandfather to her. What are you trying to say?”“Well, my love for her has grown as she has grown. I’m on pins and needles just waiting for her whenever she’s going to visit. And it’s not just because she’s my granddaughter, Seamus. It’s also because steadily, without even realizing it, I’ve become sexually attracted to her, more and more with each passing day. There, I’ve said it!”“Father, is that all? That’s what you’ve been holding inside?”I reached over and cupped his hands inside mine, squeezing them as I looked into his bright eyes.“Father, it’s ok. No, it’s more than ok. It’s beautiful! Really. This is what my life’s work has been all about. The unconditional love and attraction of one family member for another. Father, I’m happy. I let my actual empathy come through whenterrible things happened in their life. If anything, rather than drivepeople away like I thought it would, I actually became more popular andwell liked.It was a relief, and I accepted myself in my private moments. When Ifelt the urge to put on a dress in private, I did so without wanting tohate myself when it was all over. I let myself cry when I felt movedtoo, although, again, not in front of others.I caught a look at myself in the mirror after crying watching adepressing movie and saw my smeared mascara running down my cheeks.When I was denying myself years before I would have screamed in my head"SISSY" and felt ashamed. I remember looking in the mirror and tellingmyself with a laugh, "It's a movie, you stupid bitch."I was amused by what I saw. It was me at most uninhibited. I stilldon't fully show the world this me, but they get something close.While I'm a self described sissy at home, in the real world, I'm onlyabout 70 percent a.
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