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Still a little weepy, he said he wanted to make everything up to me and was so in my debt. With both of us tearing, we said goodbye.With my head in my hands, I burst out crying. It was all so bittersweet. Here I was married to Phillip and without him, in love with Karl and fucking him, in love with Rebecca and not being able to have her. And, now, Gerald was back in my life! My entire psyche was re-ignited with my feelings for Gerald…how much I had loved and cared for him five years ago…how I had regularly thought about him and reminisced our lovely affair over and over in my mind since. Now, I was shivering at the thought of reuniting with him. I went to my bedroom and sat on the bed. Looking up at the crucifix on the wall, I prayed:“Dear God, please help me get through this. I know You have brought these men and Rebecca into my life for a reason, so please make it clear to me. Do I love them all and give myself to them, or will You, ultimately, give me just one to love? Though I. She told me that she was curious about how other people made love since she had only been with me and thought that this was a very safe way to find out." I kind of knew what was coming next and realized then that my friend really was asking me to have sex with his wife. As I suspected, Brian asked his wife if she ever wanted to be with someone besides him and that conversation led to both of them deciding that Brian should ask me.My mind was racing. I am married myself, so not only did I have to consider if this would ruin my friendship with Brian but I was also worried about what would happen if my wife found out. I must have been thinking without talking for longer than I realized, because Brian made some comment about never seeing me speachless for so long. "Look I know what you are worried about. Tina would never find out and as long as you and I never speak about it I think we could just act like it never happened," Brian said as we walked up the last fairway. He added, "Look if.
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