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That’s how cops die or slide into a bottle. That’swhere I was until one of those chance intersections oflives pulled me out; one of those pitches life throwsat you that you can decide to turn away from, or allowit to change you forever.A loss of that perspective, a loss of my ability toremember the magic in life and the accumulated weightof too many arrows and too much caring about them hadled me to that hotel room in Seattle. I hadn’t feltthis bad in years and while I was in town to deliver apaper at a conference and had been well received, Ididn’t make much of a difference. I was at the pointwhere I was counting days ’till retirement, a practiceI’d always abhorred among public servants. That night I had showered, downed a vodka and tonic andwas looking out the curtains of my room across thehotel’s atrium. Years ago I would have looked out ofthat atrium and felt the hum of life: laughter, debate,pain, lust, love, joy and confusion, but in. As much as I would love to spend the whole day in bed with you, we had better refrain from anymore strenuous activity and get showered and dressed or we may not make it to the meeting at all."He leaned over me kissing each breasts as his finger slid along my slit causing me to become very wet, moaning I crawled out of bed, as I stood up, Sid pinched my bare butt. laughing I said, "if you want to get to that meeting at all, you better stop all of that stuff." giggling, I headed into my room to the shower.As we were having breakfast Sid brought up last night, saying he wanted me to know what we had done was not under my job requirements and by know means wanted me to feel obligated in any way that I had to sleep with him, and should not feel exclusive to him.I said, "Sid, I've never slept around on Cliff in all the years we've been married, until last night and that was of my choosing. I have been without a husband for over eight months, He's been so depressed he can't do his thing..
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