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He said then peeti raho nahi to khel nahi paogi main thoda sakpaka si ga and picked the glass and thought of drinking more so that I feel less tensed and it worked too. I don’t know why I kept on playing there and decided for enjoyment and I justified it thinking like ki mera pati bhi to maje karta hi hoga..shadi se pahale unki girl friends thi to sahi hi. It’s for sure ki wo mujhe batate nahi hai main bhi nhi bataungi isme kya hai and my glass reached to bottom game started and I lost. I was not supposed to strip one clothe. I was wearing salwar kameej and undergarments beneath and dupatta was placed aside. I sat for few moments again thinking I said jump into this affair or not and my drunk mind said yes.I planned for a long term and finalised which clothe to drop first maine palat ke salwar ka naada khola aur baithe baithe hi nikal di apni thighs and inner skin kameej ki aad me chhipake he said Ab idhar muh karogi ki nahi. I turned towards him with my eyes down nut I could not. I suppose I had ended so many of them myself, the sudden cooling of the flame, the awkward period afterwards when one tries to rekindle what has died forever, the petty arguments and the ultimate escape, that I refused to believe that it could happen to me in reverse. Besides, I was convinced even then, even in my confusion and anxiety, that Paul had not stopped loving me. Something else was going on, I was sure, something that had nothing to do with me. Paul’s withdrawal was not a sign of lack of love, but of some interior struggle that I could not understand without some kind of information from him, and he was simply not talking. I think it was the long stays away from home that convinced me more than anything else that I had very little to do with what was happening to Paul. Within a very few weeks he was staying away for days at a time, and soon those days were stretching into weeks. Although part of me knew there was a special, concrete explanation for this, another part of me.
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