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"Tears were starting to fall faster from her eyes as I was really feeling like shit now. "You misunderstand!" I cried. "I don't want to make you whatever it was you just said. I am grateful for your friendship but I don't want to be forced to marry!"Naci could only stare at me as if I had lost my mind. "Marriage is the most fulfilling thing a human can do! Why are you so against it? You really do want me to be put into a life of being a mahila ka upayog, bekaar!" First off I don't understand what that is second--" I started.In a rush she almost shouted with anger, "It is a woman to be used only! By anyone that wishes to! A worthless one! Only good for the pleasure of ALL others. Being the Chief's daughter it would be far harder for me. Many would be far more cruel than normal. Many hate father and would take much of that hatred out upon me. Father wouldn't be able to do anything. Please Toman!" Naci was begging at my feet. "Please do not make me live that hell!"Sighing I knew I was. ****Entry 3:My first day on the test site was .... amazing. First, I was introducedas "Alison", and nobody even blinked about that. In fact, everyone usesonly female pronouns for me, and it feels so good I cant even begin to dojustice to it. Right now, I feel like even if it turns out that theexperiment fails, to have this moment will be enough to sustain me .Doesnt mean I'm going to stop hoping and praying its a total success.****Entry 4.Got tested, poked, and prodded six ways from Sunday today, but everythingseems set. The test begins tomorrow.....*****Entry 5.I dont know what I expected. I think some stupid part of me thought thiswas like a magic want - I would step on the plate a man, and step off awoman, just like that. But I didnt change at all, or so it seems. Butthey seemed pretty happy with the result, and told me I needed to bepatient. "Give it a couple of days," they said. Easy for them to say whenthey arent the ones who've been wating for nearly fifty years to feellike a.
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