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’ ‘Did you..did he…?’ Ronnie asked. ‘Orgasm? Yes, I did, I…do that pretty easily, you know that. Anyway, after that I didn’t even go out on a date for almost a year. Then one of my girl friends had a party. I met a guy named Dale there. We dated for a few weeks, then he..asked me one night and I went home with him. He didn’t leave, he was there the next morning.’ Sylvia paused, collecting her thoughts. ‘We saw each other for several months, then he asked me to marry him. I even thought about it, Dale was a very nice man. He had a good job and a nice home, he was married once before and had a little girl. But finally I realized I just liked him, I didn’t love him. I really did try to love Dale, I just couldn’t.’ Again she paused. ‘When he..we..made love, it was all OK, but it was like something wasn’t right.’ ‘You don’t need to tell me any more, honey.’ Ronnie told her. ‘Yes, I think I do. I don’t want any secrets between us at all!’ ‘All right.’ ‘I saw an ad for a secretary, so I. They had not been able to get past that first nervous, fumbling sizing up of each other, where their lips met and their minds worked furiously trying to understand what the other liked. He realised that all the expectation, all the anticipation of this moment would come to nothing now, even as his groin pressed against her and he felt her yielding body relax into him. Too much of his concentration was on his wife, where she was, what she would be thinking. Even as those lips he had dreamed of so often sucked gently against his own he had a sudden insight into how disastrously this would end. The evening had gone rapidly downhill from there. So he had resigned himself to the idea that she would only ever be an object of fantasy for him, and even then the flirtation between them could never be the same, all the delicious thrill of anticipation and maybes and what ifs had passed in a clumsy coup-de-grace to his desire. He was surprised to realise how much of the sparkle it took from his.
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