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It seemed that I could attain a certain small degree ofsexual excitement with a girl, but that feeling would not grow to be apowerful all consuming desire, and in fact without any fresh stimulationthe feelings would soon level out. It was frustrating. I do not thinkKara felt any sexual feelings towards me. For her this was innocentenough - we were simply chain sisters, comforting and warming oneanother in the dank, miserable slave pens of Banu Hashim. She felt safewith me, and I too felt safe with her, but there was in me at leastsomething more. As the days passed by I came to realise just what aravishing beauty Kara was, and how lucky any man would be to have herkneeling before him in his collar. I tried to imagine what it would feellike to still be a man with a functioning penis, and to have Kara in mybed, opening herself to be taken.But it grew harder and harder for me to visualise such a thing indetail. It was becoming an abstract concept in itself. It seemed that Ionly had a. Despite the 90 degree temperature when we left Silicon Valley, the snow had not melted at the elevations above 5,000 feet. At around 6,500 feet, I came around a corner in the road and saw him.It was a coyote. He was obviously very hungry, since everything was still covered in heavy snow. He saw me and started toward me to try to get some food. Then he stopped and backed up. Again he started toward me, only to stop and back up again. He could sense that I had food, but he had an ingrained attitude to avoid humans. He was obviously struggling with an internal conflict. He needed food to stay alive, but was afraid to go after it with me, an enemy. After watching his struggles with himself for a while, I continued to drive on. But I’ve often thought about that coyote.”“Interesting story, but what does it have to do with what we’ve been discussing?”“But don’t you see, doctor? I’m like that coyote. I’m struggling with my internal conflicts, too. I’m not interested in having sex with women,.
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