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I gave up sex completely until I had moved back to Sydney, and Chris asked me out. He was so patient, so caring and nice ... nothing like any of the other guys I had been with before. Then I tried again with you; that time when you were recovering from that panic attack and your heart problems. I was looking after you at home, you were in bed, Lori was away sailing somewhere, and I thought you’d jump at the chance for some hot sex with me. You turned me down – you were the first guy EVER to turn down sex with Mary Beth Earle – ‘Easy Earle’. I was shattered, I felt totally rejected.“I came to realize that you weren’t rejecting me completely, just the way that I had approached you. But I tried to be more subtle, and you just ignored me. I even spoke to Lori about whether I might have sex with you; she was cool with it, but told me that I would have to talk with you and Chris about it. Anyway, we know all of that stuff, we talked about that the other day.”“And I hope you don’t think. You know the phrase, 'God works in mysterious ways'? Well he does. Jake and Jun do not claim to be God's agents on the earth, but they are. I told them that they are. They laugh at me but it is true. I have read that a person can be an unknowing agent. I think that is what Jun and Jake are.I cannot begin to explain all they stuffed into our heads in ten months, one school year. I am not the girl I was when I entered the school and mom is not the woman who was with me that first day of school. You know she was the world's worst cook when we first got there. Now she cooks great. We both are different people today. Our old selves would never have found our personal savior. Both mom and I know that.You don't think I am mature enough to love anyone yet. But that is not my problem. That is yours. You don't know how to love. You can't see that someone outside of your own head can be that important to you. Jake calls that the Western Civilized Mind disease. I know how to love. I know how to.
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