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As I got older, the parks and street corners became bars and pool halls. I didn’t go to drink or play pool I went to see the guys and shoot the breeze. I eventually met a girl we got married and even had a couple of kids. I went to work in an entry-level position but without the drive to seek advancement I stayed at a meager salary. After work, I seldom went home to my wife but instead went and hung out with my friends. It doesn’t take much to see that with me not making much money and by seldom being home my marriage fell apart and after seven years we divorced. I continued to work as I had child support to pay now and then through a friend I got a union job. The union job was perfect for an underachiever like me for as long as you pay your dues and show up everything goes along fine. It was around this time in my life that I discovered marijuana and it was finally something at which I could excel it’s just too bad I couldn’t find anyone to pay me to do it. It was as if my whole. I smile when others are silent, I laugh when no one is around…I am different. When I am all alone I feel as though I am mere inches from some great truth that I am supposed to find and understand, but can never reach. As though the path I am following is of my own making and yet, not at all, at the same time. I wish I knew what to do. The human mind is indeed the most amazing and powerful of computers. Transient and temporary though it is. It is very powerful. The most unnerving of questions that this computer can pose is ‘why?’ Why do we do what we do? Will anything but our own advancement come of it? We go from one mundane task to another yet never really accomplish anything of importance. I do realize that importance is merely a matter of perspective. Walking along the sidewalk ignorant to all that surrounds us, seems not important at all, yet to the ants upon which we trod, it is a matter of life and death. When is it, that we will become the ants? What will we do when it does.
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