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Though I was now starting to also feel a bit foolish because it was. Wiggling in my seat, lifting up, preparing to pull my pants up again."No, don't ... not yet, please!" she coaxed. Now looking at me with a question in her eyes. "You'll still have to do something about that yes?" she asked.I laughed, "Eventually ... yes. I certainly can't go home this way," I told her, hinting that I would no doubt be sitting here stroking off again after she left."Then do it now, so I can watch you ... see it, please?" Really? You're serious? You want to watch me ... watch me, jerk off?" Oh yes! God yes! Will you?" She asked.I started doing so, nervously ... apprehensively, suddenly getting a little cock shy. Oddly enough, I was going in the other direction as opposed to the one I should be going in. "Sorry ... this might take a while, I'm ah..." Would this help?" Suddenly Lorraine reached down grabbing the hem of the blouse she was wearing, lifting it up. As she did that, she likewise managed to. Eventually I met a friend who also had things in his past he wasn’t proud of, but he showed me how to put it to good use. That friend not only has freedom from worrying what people think of him, he has also used his awful experience to help others. He told me he can’t change what happened in the past, but he does have the power to put the experience to good use. At first I didn’t believe that telling people I was raped would be helpful to anyone. But now I’m learning that it wasn’t the crime that was important – it’s what I’ve done since then that matters. I’m grateful that I had running to fall back on while I processed this. Running helps me stay strong physically and mentally, and it took a while, but I’m now even stronger than I was before I was raped. That four-hour ordeal that I suffered last October was horrible, but it was just something that happened to me. I didn’t choose to have that experience, but while it is now a part of who I am, it doesn’t define me. I’m a complex.
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