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"What dat?" I say."Those are numbers and, I think, mathematical symbols and stuff."I think I knew this before. "What aw... um... matho-maco sybos fow?" I'm not sure, but grown-up me wrote this and I always had it with mebecause I thought it was important and it didn't disappear like all myother old stuff. I'm gonna hide it in my room until I grow up and I canunderstand it again. It's got lots of numbers and numbers are fun." Can I undowstan too?" I want to be like Sarah."Maybe. I think we both have lots of stuff left over in our heads that wecan remember when our brains get old enough." Um smawt!" I say. I puff out my stomach.She smiles at me. "I bet you're real smart for a two-year-old." Um awmost thwee." I'm big. I don't need a diaper. I just need a pullupfor sleepy-time accidents."You used to be lots older," says Sarah."Uh-huh," I say. "I can... um... wemembow." I close my eyes hard toremember being big. I could do lots of hard stuff. I could go pee-peestanding up. I can't remember. ‘I asked my parents if we could have a real Christmas tree this year, with lights and everything. I said that I just knew if we all worked hard all year, and put aside a little bit each week from all our jobs, we could have such a tree this year. We already have a Christmas tree, of course, but it is a short, false tree, with tired, fading paper leaves, that Papa has pulled out of a cardboard tube and fluffed out every year since before I was born. We can’t put lights on it, Papa said—if we had any lights to put on it, of course—or it would burn our apartment house down. And its branches have become too weak even to hold up those paper ornaments we made for it two years ago. So, last year I asked Papa and Mama if, for this year, we could have a new tree, a real tree, with lights and everything. And with the angel Gabriel on top.’ ‘And what did they say, Raul? What did your Papa answer?’ ‘My papa’s face turned very serious and sad, and he said to me, ‘Ah, but we are too poor, Raul..
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