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Look at what happened to us today. I turned into a slut, Bob." He opened his mouth to object and she shushed him. "I don't mean that in a bad way, but the truth is I can't keep my hands off of you, and even if you wanted to keep your hands off of me I wouldn't let you. Things are moving kind of fast all of a sudden. I wanted that to happen, but I also want to feel comfortable with it. I have these very strong feelings for you that make me want to say things I take very seriously. I need to be able to think about that. I think you need to think about it too, Bob. You said you were a one woman man. Well I'm a one man woman too. I didn't do all this today just for fun." I know that," he said softly."Then some time apart for us to think things over might keep one of us from getting hurt. I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want to hurt you. What happened today is too precious to me for there to be any hurt." I agree," he said."Now please let me go before I start taking my clothes off. He wasfixated on my lips as I drew on my cigarette, as the end glowed, as Ieffortlessly breathed in that puff. He watched the wisps from mynostrils.Someone came out to get me. "I gotta go," I said as I leaned down toground out my cigarette, though taking one last puff. He looked downinto my shirt, but I didn't know that.I did know how I felt when I held out my hand to him and said "I'mSuzanne. Nice to meet you. Bye."I got Chinese on the way home and stayed in that night, masturbatingagain. That day had been filled with so much.The next day I stayed in my apartment for re-writes, and long baths,and touching and climaxes, again. At 4 p.m. I decided I wanted more.I wanted my first sexual toy. It excited me to think of it. Ididn't want one of those 42nd street-like places. I wanted someplace more intimate, somewhere for women. I found one in the book,put on a denim skirt and white top and got in a cab. I didn't know what I wanted really. And I didn't realize there wereso.
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