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Lesbianism was a mystery to me.The internet was in its infancy so my research was very limited. I was truly a stranger in a strange land. No Netflix. I couldn't even watch lesbian classics like "Blue is the Warmest Color" or "Below Her Mouth."(Shout out to Audrey for that delicious nugget.)Which brings me to my mother and the gut-wrenching coming out debacle. Each night I would pace my bedroom, sorrowful, like Game of Thrones fans after the lackluster series finale. At least I didn't have to face it alone. My potent strains of cannabis and a bottle overflowing with anti-depressants were there for me as always. Four joints and ten Xanax later (washed down with half a bottle of Jack Daniels) I careened my way to the kitchen where my mother was preparing her nightly delicacy, known to gourmets everywhere as Salisbury steak. With slurred speech, I told her we needed to talk.Those words alone made her weep. I was not optimistic. Two psilocybin mushrooms later I finally revealed my secret.. A woman carrying a shopping bag is in her glory, a bit of an aphrodisiac, if you ask me. There is a little bounce in her step. Think about this the next time you’re in the mall and see an attractive woman with two or three bags on her arm. I entered Bath & Body Works for two reasons: these smells attract women and then cleavage is sure to follow. The place is busy as you would expect, the checkout line winds among the displays of soaps, scents and bath goodies. I don’t think anyone noticed, but the grin on my face seemed like I couldn’t hold it in, just mesmerized by the scene of lovely ladies…. and their reasons. Two young ladies are working feverishly behind the counter, trying to maintain order and their composure at the same time. One is about nineteen or twenty, a college student with long, straight brown hair and glasses, fairly ordinary but very efficient. Bet her boss loves her. The other young lady brings an end to the slight grin on my face. She is a little older, maybe.
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