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We didn't have enough room or enough equipment to build a millpond, even if I wanted one, and I didn't. We might be able to spray water over the logs after we had them limbed and stacked, but I didn't like the thought of that solution either. For one thing they would start stinking before very long and they would keep a muddy mess going as long as we were watering them.Finally I decided to just do what I could do and see if we needed to do something about it next year. Maybe I was worrying over not much. I didn't have any idea how the saw blades would hold out between sharpening and it was at least possible things would work well enough. It did change my attitude on the cutting though. Hickories would be cut last and put through the mill as soon as possible. After a hickory was good and dry it was fit for firewood only, period.Even with all the seeming drawbacks things went well enough. By the time we shut down our logging operation a week later we had two hundred useable twelve-foot. In fact, the session where I masturbated and the one where Josh almost fucked me had all been in the past two weeks.I remember going home horny as hell after. “Are you kidding?” I scoffed. “I thought we had sex just the other night after I got home.”“No,” Larry said, “you were too tired.”Oh my god, he was right. I remember he had tried to have sex, but I couldn’t get Josh out of my mind. I masturbated as soon as I got into the house and came hard. My orgasm had drained all of my energy, and I fell asleep, alone.I felt like a total asshole. How could I have been so hung up on things that I had pushed Larry away and mistreated him? I wanted to make it up to him, but when I offered to have sex, he rejected me, calling it a “pity fuck.” His words hurt me deeply.Things were awkward between us over the next few days. On Sunday, we tried to have sex, but I think we were both feeling pressured to make it great and neither of us did. The entire time I was worried that Larry was still angry at.
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