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It's okay.” No, it's not okay, I thought to myself. None of this is okay. You're married. I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I do, and it hurts because I can't do anything at all about it. “It's nothing... I'm just... a little confused about some things. Gotta sit and think them out, ya know?” She finally stopped prying and wrapped her arms around me, letting her head rest on my shoulder. “I worry about you sometimes. You scare me when you get all quiet like that. I just like to know you're okay.” I hugged her back, holding her tight to me and it took every ounce of energy I had in me not to bring her lips to mine... This “friendship” was tearing me apart, and there was nothing I could do about it... Later that night, as we held each other in her bed watching some sappy romance flick, I'd realized that the only way this feeling was ever going to subside, or at least mellow out some, was if I got up the courage to finally make my move. I was careful not to disturb Ash or draw her. .." You do realize, she's an exact female version of me, right?" Jadyn nodded. "Well I doubt she's gonna want to do any of that stuff. Shewas pissed this morning that she's not a boy anymore. I don't think she'sgoing to be the ideal big sister you've been dreaming of." Oh ... I guess you're right."~~~~My whole body was numb from the blowing wind. My tears were freezing onmy cheeks. I heard her feet crunching through the snow. She put her handon my shoulder. I didn't look up. I felt horrible. Mostly it was aboutthe situation in which I'd found myself when I woke up this morning, butpart of it was the fact that I had told my Mom that I hated her."Laura ..." That's not my name," I snapped."Yes it is, Honey. Even if you don't like it. But there's nothing we cando about that now. MORFS puts people into situations that they neverexpect to be in. You just have to learn to accept this. I know with timethat this will become easier for you." Mom, I don't want to accept this. I didn't want to do.
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