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' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long. We tried using two mattresses. This didn’t seem to help much, either. Little Doe had the idea of trying a couple of feather mattresses, which she could get from the general store. That helped some, but I could tell it was going to be awful warm lying on feather mattresses that tended to conform all around me, as I settled into them. Once again, I had to have help getting back out and was wondering how much cushioning they would provide once we started going down the road and the mattress started settling in upon itself. This was getting very frustrating. Finally I said, ‘This is becoming more of a hassle than I think it’s worth. I think I’ll be more comfortable riding up on the front seat most of the time. If all else fails, I can get out and walk beside the wagon. If we get an early enough start we should be able to make it before it gets dark. While we were trying to decide all this Doc Williams returned with two older women, and one teenage girl. Next a man I had never met,.
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